5 Easy Tips to Detoxify the Liver and the Body – Jokes Intended

Just like every other guy who hates his 9 to 5 jobs, I hate my boss and his hairstyle. I will talk about how to detoxify the liver and stuff, but first, you have to read about my pain. hate to throw him an obviously fake compliment on his heavyweight body and his new suit that he stole from his barber. Sick and tired of hearing about what color of poop his daughter passes every day, or how his 35-years-old brother-in-law got dumped by a teenager.

detoxify the liver and body

The pressure of holding on to my blood-sucking job successfully, used to increase mental tension, resulting in me falling sick every now and then. I am sick and tired of everything in my life and need a remedy to get free from it.

Thanks to my boss, the mental dis-balance I was going through, led me to trouble falling asleep. Not that I spent all my time of the night having sex with my wife Ana, but the thoughts of losing my awesome job and beloved boss (that both suck), kept me from sleeping on time. My wife wasn’t happy with our sex lifeI asked her to get this pleasure somewhere else, but I don’t know why she denied that offer. Now both of us can’t sleep properly every night.

One day she asked me to get some salt from the shelf, and I bought her almonds. Then she told me to chop down some tomatoes, and I chopped ginger and my finger. Lack of concentration became one more major problem.

detoxify the liver and body

While trying out sex one rare day, she asked me to call her name aloud. I addressed her as Linda. That was the last time we ever had sex. I realized that poor memory was one more of many side effects, it can even lead to breaking your teeth and can swell your gums.

I dialed my family doctor who treats only two patients per monthme and Ana, advised me to detoxify the liver and my body. He said that if I detoxify the liver, then it can deliver (pun intended) good results and can set me free from feeling tired and sick (literally) all the damn time, increase my memory and concentration, while also helping me sleep better. Upon asking what did that mean, that idiot explained to me, that throwing out sexy and harmful toxins from the body is known as de-toxin or detox in short.

I first thought that I needed to throw away all my black, polluted, and toxin-filled blood, but that was not the case here. The poor doctor further told me that there are certain methods to do the same, and that does not require to empty my body’s blood that turns me into a skeleton. So, feeling pity for me, these are the 5 things that he advised to do on a daily basis, that cannot get me rid of my pig-faced boss or my job, but can help me handle the outcomes in a better way. Here’s how I did those:

Cool mind and warm water

hate to wake up early in the morning thinking about my boss’s ugly face. But thinking about that face, one cannot even fall back asleep again. Soit’s better to get up, wash and see my own face, somehow manage to move to the kitchen, boil down some drinking water and consume a glass of itsip by sip. Gulping the whole glass of hot water at once may cause ulcers in your throat, and that can be uglier than my boss.

Apple cider vinegar (yuck)

detoxify the liver and body

After hating the above method, I went on to the other one that I hated even more. Few minutes prior to having breakfast, I take a glass of lukewarm water, pour a tablespoonful of pathetic apple cider vinegar, and mix it well, and gulp it down bottoms up! I felt like puking it away and had a feeling that my teeth and gums are attacked. I picked up my gun, and with raging anger, I was walking out of my home to kill my doctor. But then my wife stopped me and told me that it was a toy gun that my son used to play with.

I still do this on a daily basis, and I got habitual of it now. I know that the toy gun cannot help me kill the doctor, so it’s better to follow the instructions that the idiot gave me.

Green Tea (Go eco-friendly)

detoxify the liver and body

Regular tea and coffee are caffeinated, no new information there, everybody who knows this thinks of themselves as a doctor. But working for an asshole like my boss breaks all your energy down and makes you feel like you’ve just jerked off. A caffeine boost is required there to regain the lost energy. I do it 2-3 times in a day, although this regained energy always goes in vain for me, as there is no point in it.

But I do need a remedy to take care of my bodyI don’t want to, but I need to. Replacing regular tea and coffee with green tea did actually helps me to feel fresh and energetic for longer than regular tea or coffee does. This green-colored hot water when taken with honey (instead of sugar), served as a cleanser to detoxify the liver because of its antioxidant properties. Doing this, in a few daysI felt an enhanced appetite and digestion, so that I can digest my boss’s crap even more.

Consume Garlic, but don’t lick (your boss’s ass)

detoxify the liver and body

I have no talent, so unfortunately I need to succeed in licking my boss’s ass. That’s how everyone in my office thinks about me, while they do the same. Hypocrisy at its best. A weird substance known as amino acids present it garlicactivates enzymes that are just like me, lazy, and helps remove toxins from the body. A fellow roommate of Amino acid, selenium has also got antioxidant properties.

I do not love the smell and taste of garlic. I used to think that it is a fruit or something that only depressed people consume. Fortunately, the flavor of garlic enhanced the taste of the boring food my wife cooks.

Nut at all

detoxify the liver and body

All acids are harmful, what about amino? I mean no, this is not one of them. Want to detoxify the liver or bodytalk about it, and the name of amino acid is always there. It’s present in nuts like almondscashewwalnuts, etc. Some of these are also rich in omega-3 fatty acids, no it’s not acid for fat people. It may help you to lose some weight as well.

My boss and I do not have anything in common, but both of these acids have two things in commonboth are good to detoxify the liver and body and also act as great anti-oxidants.

I have started doing all this, although it neither did change my boss in any way nor his stupid behavior towards his employees. All the above 5 little changes that I included in my dietI have no idea it helped me detoxify the liver and my body or not. But I surely can feel the changes in my energy levels. I got more energy to abuse, my boss when I sit for a cup of green tea with my colleagues.

I now never forget the name of my wife. Her name is Natalie Ksydgdf  sh fsjs jgsdjf gdsjfgjsgf jsf 

Oops, she saw me writing this. She just banged my head on the keyboard and warned me not to delete what is typed above. Her name is Ana. Now I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait for the next sex night.

[Note: *The post written above is written in a fun and unconventional way of educating, and is not by any means, intended to harm emotions/sentiments or insult anybody, and should be taken in a light-hearted manner*]

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