Say Hallelujah if you have the motivation to workout upon your body at least half a bad-smelling sweaty hour. But walking inside your apartment’s balcony and staring at hot girls on the street isn’t called working out. Of course, you may be working out on your future-plans (one-sided) with those girls and may even be getting sweaty while thinking about it, but this is not helpful for calorie burnout. I used to do all this stuff until I took the first step towards the well-being of my body.
The worst type of body workouts is performed by those awesome people who have a hamburger in their hands while walking. What a waste of a hamburger it is.
The only type of workout where you un-burn your never-burnt calories. Unfortunately, I was one of those awesome guys who never had any motivation to workout whatsoever.
As said above, sweating is the key here. Sweating that burns a lot of calories that you have consumed with your hard-earned money. Now what an optimistic pessimist (I am not so sure what that means) person like me would say here? It goes like – “Money bought me food, and food had calories, this means I’m burning my money. L.H.S. = R.H.S., hence proved.” A = B = C, so, A = C, amazing, isn’t it?
The inspiration that came from Einstein or Newton inspired me to not move my body, if you also fall into the same category, awesome, stop reading this and get yourself some French fries. If not, then I’m sure you are smarter than your smartphone to get the point of all this.
After realizing this, one fine day I heard a voice that came from within, and it screamed – “sweat mate sweat, smell bad as a Lesser Anteater” (Google it.). Don’t take this name too literally. It’s not “Lesser” or more than any other animal.
Coming back to the topic, another voice followed and shouted at me – “don’t work out for the sake of Jesus Christ, but do it actually, for the sake of your beautiful pimple-free skin.”
But there still are some self-proclaimed billionaires who own a million-dollar business, earn a thousand bucks a month, spend a hundred bucks, save a penny for themselves, and say “But I don’t have time dear well-wisher.” Seriously?
Exactly the same excuse I used to give to myself as my motivation to workout was MINUS ZERO. A retaliating person was always living inside my body, he said “excuse me, but that’s not a convincing excuse that you just gave Mr. Bill Gates.
You have 24 hours in a day to waste your in just breathing and eating, nobody forced you to sweat for 20 of those of your superbly productive hours. Just devote merely 2% of the time in your day. Asked for too much? Really sorry Mr. Jeff Bezos.”
Gosh, that hurts, living with an enemy cum life-guide within myself.
Your time seems like black money; no one knows where it is getting disappeared. With no motivation to workout, a combination of an unhealthy body and a healthy bank balance is of living with your wife and your girlfriend under the same roof at the same time, i.e. of no use.
I soon realized that my body is a valuable asset I have, and with fat and a cholesterol-rich lifestyle lived inside an A.C room with no scope of sweating, this asset has become NPA (Nonperforming Asset), in simple terms, liability.
This might not look very pleasant to read, as that’s not a Bahamas body massage on a beach either. But such bitter words opened up your eyes without an alarm clock having a snooze button. All this is a sample of truth untested by the University of California. Not all samples can be tested there.
I’ve heard some women saying “But I’m a mom taking care of my three perfect kids, that’s why I don’t get time to take care of myself.”
You can’t take care of yourself in the first place, and you’re talking about taking care of your kids. Not legit enough, not convincing enough. But this was a similar excuse that even I used to give when thinking of getting some motivation to workout, and I was teaching others what I never did, damn, I’m so clever.
Never, ever, use that excuse of not having enough time to work your body out. This excuse is so uncreative, that it did not even convince your class teacher in high school when you were asked about completing your summer assignment.
“Um, I’ll do it from tomorrow, from next week, or sometime later on in life when my knees will give up.” Do you know why we do procrastinate? Simple, because not doing anything is so much fun. Enjoy life by taking rest every day, and then rest in peace one good sunny day.
I used to wake up at 8 am on weekdays with absolutely no motivation to workout and go to my office, and wake up at noon at weekends and see an empty yoga park. Incredible, legendary, all my fats and calories used to thank me for not putting them to the burnout.
One of my friends who used to be regular at the gym told me that even if you’re not tech-savvy, you can still change your brain’s “default settings.” Then I asked him how to do it? He said, “Navigate your cursor to one of the items listed in your brain’s menu bar, and click on the menu item called BODY.”
He really forced me to take immediate massive action because all this procrastination is fun in short term but can destroy me in long term.
He became my mentor and gave me a very convincing example that you work in your office day in and day out, buy your dream Mercedes car. Put it inside your garage for 20 years and never use it. That is how useful your body will become if you don’t put it into use.
I reached to him when I thought I must take some advice from the ones who work their body out on regular basis, they might not be that much busy that they can’t give you an answer for this. Of course, they don’t say “I don’t have time for this” to themselves, and you’ll get to know why they enjoy working out.
Initially, my friend was one of those “pretending-to-be-a-gym-freak”, who hits the gym to take selfies but also does sets of biceps curls with a maximum capacity of 20 repetitions, but he really enjoyed that 21st, 22nd, and 23rd curl when his brutal gym trainer pushed him to do so.
I duplicated that, and that sweet pain gradually became a craving and then became an addiction.
A 100x better addiction than cigarettes, alcohol, weed, or marijuana.
Fun fact – This weird and so-called intelligent organ “Brain is an absolute idiot. It does not know what’s wrong and what’s right, it buys everything you sell it. No, you’ll not get any commissions, but the whole profit of it. It’s like a kid who learns everything that you teach because you must never have heard that brain has a brain. “A brain does not have a brain”, period.
I learned this extremely important skill of fooling and controlling my brain. Your thoughts are your brain’s food, feed hamburger thoughts, it responds with hamburger, feed fruit salad thoughts, it responds with fruit salad.
What do magicians do? They fool around with your brain. You see what they want you to see, and you can’t even file a police complaint about it, as you have paid the magician to make a fool out of you. This may annoy you how the other person has full control over your brain, while you do not have control over your asset.
So, when the pain becomes an addiction for my brain, it craved for it just like Mr. Donald Trump craved for the designation of US president during elections.
Problem solved, this craving forced me to extract some time from my busy schedule, but to reach this stage, I had to learn the art & skill of convincing & controlling my brain.
Initially, this was too hard for me, but as time passed by, I mastered this skill within just less than a week. Just some crazy affirmations and immediate action were needed for me to reach this stage.
After experiencing this personally, my final advice for someone like me would be to keep practicing to sell and fool your brain and achieve almost anything in life (realistic things). Practice makes a man (and a woman) perfect.
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